Suddenly...

Holiday ended. School starting started. T_T

Today woke up early, and I am still exhausted now. Super tiring -_-
Why tiring? I haven't been waking up so early in the morning during the holidays; in the holidays, I only tried to wake up by 11am to watch the (super old, like last 2 years') Martha Stewart Show on NTV7.

Not to mention that I am obsessed and addicted to gaming again (which screwed up my SPM back in those days, and me dropping Bahasa Cina to play Maple Story that time; sad right? I know O_O). There was a couple of nights (ok, maybe more than a couple) that I slept when the sun was rising; as the sun rising indicated that it's time my parents wake up for work, so yea, I better sleep before they think I am super lifeless.

Speaking of those days (young younger days), I walked through the Valley of 18s just now, in the main campus of HELP UC. The main campus of HELP is like a dungeon deep inside a cave, there are more classrooms in the deepest part of the cave and there are also classrooms along the Valley of 18s.
What's Valley of 18s? The whole long stretch of road in between two mountains (classrooms) of 18-year-olds. Like so many kids there lol :D I feel a bit old and rusty; like how I could not stay up gaming for too many nights, it'll kill me -_-

Aside from not-young and rustiness, I also realized that I am in my last two semesters of tertiary education (no, I do not have ambitious plans to further my education) and I am pretty clueless about what I've done and been doing in the past few years.
I am not smart and not stupid. I am at most average, and probably at best slightly above average.. and average tends to be forgotten, lol. Not to mention that I am not exactly "passionate" about research too, and research is like a super important part of Psychology (no, we do not read minds, like seriously).
Plus, that's not all! Instead of being pretty clueless (at least still pretty :P), I am very clueless about what I'll be doing in the future, like half a year down the road from now. Very the clueless.

You see, during my holidays, I don't do much besides drink, toilet, TV, eat, computer and sleep; and I'm inclined to think that this will be my way of living after Uni if I don't get a decent job. It's super pathetic I'm telling you, I did not leave the house for like a week, the furthest distance I moved was from my room to the kitchen/toilet (5m~10m?), and there was virtually no human contact (as I don't communicate much with my parents).
So I certainly do not want a lifeless like that. Eh wait, I might actually like and get used to it; after all, I am doing nothing!

But then again, if a job does come along, wouldn't it just be another 9am to 6pm job (if I'm lucky)?
And that, my friend, is pretty lifeless too.
And of course, there's this talk about doing what you like/enjoy for a living; well, if you get to do that, great for you! But out of the gazillion living things out there, how many actually get to be that fortunate? A handful? You get to see all those successful stories etc. (which usually come with some failures in the past yada yada yada) everywhere, what about those who failed, like totally? Presevere until they succeed and finally be a success story themselves?

Then what?

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. I think I lost the initial objective of writing this post and kinda don't know what this is all about already, lol. Eh wait, there might not be any intialy purpose, it's the usual random randomness :D
Sorry if this is like a bit long, I guess I'm just a bit bored in the Uni in the morning.