Kempasians

The reunion dinner with fellow ex-students of 5 Kempas was interestingly nice. It was really nice to see so many of them again; I would say most of them didn't change much appearance wise and apparently, most commented that I've changed a lot. And I am inclined to think that it's a good change :)

I just realized that why I always appear reserved and shutmyself, cause I am afraid that when people get too close, they might find that I am quite empty. Yea, empty.. -__- I am quite boring and uninteresting in general; this was apparent during the get-together when everyone was sharing and I found myself feeling quite kosong and got not much to share.. Not to mention that I had quite a negative mentality when looking back at my secondary school life. Haiz, scrap that!!!

And oh, never underestimate the power of peer pressure! Especially pressure from peers whom you have not met for a very long time XD Cause I surrendered to that pressure that day and did many silly things lol I should seriously learn to laugh at myself!!

*laughing at myself mode*
hahahahaha hahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahahahaaaa
*end of laughing at myself mode*

OMG, after those laughters I still cannot get over the silly acts. Haiz, I just kinda felt that it's not common to get that bunch of people together.. a bit of silly acts won't kill me O_O
Looking back at it now, it feels like it does can kill me -__-

Come to think of it.. I think one day it'll be hard to get the Uni people together too!! T_T Fellow organizer masterminds, please do something when that day comes.. not everyone has the ability to bring everyone together ok. And the ones doing it so far have done great, so yea stay great... :D

Kesimpulannya, video of SNSD's Tell Me performance from years ago; orginal singer was Wonder Girls but I personally like SNSD's better:



p/s: that was totally random lol. Note to self: gotta stop watching these vids and start doing revision and thesis OMG OMG. And OMG.

Tell Me Your Wish

Hehe :)

p/s: I am t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e cause I see-money-eye-open!

p/s 2: I always like yum cha sessions with kawans!

Today, I got caught off-guard by the internship person. Haiz.. +_+
I actually set the alarm to wake up earlier as I was expecting them to call for the phone interview, but I couldn't wake up and got woken up by a call from the internship site interviewer!!

O_O

So yea, I was very unprepared..
When asked to describe myself, I described myself using only 2 traits in less than 10 words.. followed by a moment of silence from the interviewer and "Hah, that's all?"; I then proceeded to add on another 5 words or so.. and the response was "Ohhh, owhkay..."
I was wondering if it's actually better to not add the 5 words -_-
I now know that I am boring, uninteresting, shallow, ignorant, pretentious.. oh have I mentioned that I'm uninteresting? XD
Oh wait, next time I can just use this sentence when I am asked to describe myself! I lost count of the moments of silence and awkwardness during the phone interview T_T

The point is, I really got shocked when I was asked to describe myself.. cause my mind turned blank! I really don't know what kind of person am I~ It was that bad...
And and.. I don't think I can function effectively in the working world; I really don't know how to interact with people and communicate/express my thoughts.. OMG, let's just hope that it's not too late to discover these things XD

Either way, I got the internship opportunity. I am guessing it was due to the low application amount from our students; and they are pretty in need of humans I think..

Gam-ba-teh ne!!

I always appreciate every sing k session :) It's just really nice to get to sing k once in a while with fellow kawans.
And now that I have finally applied Neway's membership card, I can go alone during lunch hour (11 to 1) for RM5 with no extra charges! Muahahahaha!! *evil laughter seizes*

That aside, I just realized that I like to be surrounded by voices/sounds of friends, they make me feel safe :D It's like knowing there are people there.. Which is why even though sometimes not everyone can pay attention to everyone in a big group of friends, I still like to just be there.. listening to everyone's conversation silently or emo'ly.

random:
I was at this staring competition the other day and I got out-stared! I was waiting for my transport (my mom lol) and as usual, I was staring doing naturalistic observation on passerby; then usually people don't look back, even if they do.. they don't like STARE. So yea and that day I got stared at lol @_@
Conclusion is, next time don't stare at random passerby hehe. And I realized a thing, I actually did not have the confidence to stare back. I used to be able to just stare and stare though.. hmm, I wonder what happened? Haiz.
If given the chance again, will I stare back? Probably not, wanna kena whack meh?!
/end of random

random no.2 of the day:
Thank goodness for rajin workers! If not for the hardworking IT technical staff-person, I would be dead bored every morning... because the IT technical staff-person holds the key to the computer lab and the computer lab houses the computer and the computer is my source of entertainment in the morning before class. The designated opening time for the com lab is 9am and this IT person will usually reach at about 8.30am or so; so yea, bravo for rajin workers hehe.
/end of random no.2 of the day

Stumbled upon the Enneagram test thinge in a friend's blog, and I Google'd it to try it out.. The results revealed that I am a One (highest score) and a Five (second highest).

Following are the description taken from the website:

The Perfectionist (the One)

Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me

• Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.
• Acknowledge my achievements.
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• I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.
• Tell me that you value my advice.
• Be fair and considerate, as I am.
• Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.
• Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a One

• being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal
• working hard to make the world a better place
• having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself
• being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do
• being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions
• being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a One

• being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met
• feeling burdened by too much responsibility
• thinking that what I do is never good enough
• not being appreciated for what I do for people
• being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am
• obsessing about what I did or what I should do
• being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Ones as Children Often

• criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others
• refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect
• focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers
• are very responsible; may assume the role of parent
• hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")

Ones as Parents

• teach their children responsibility and strong moral values
• are consistent and fair
• discipline firmly

The Observer (the Five)

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.
• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
• don't come on like a bulldozer.
• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a Five

• standing back and viewing life objectively
• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
• not being caught up in material possessions and status
• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a Five

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Fives as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
• have a few special friends rather than many
• are very bright and curious and do well in school
• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Fives as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Interesting eh? Credits to Bagen & Wagele (1994) for all the descriptions; and of course, the website which I've obtained all these from: 9types.com. You can find more useful information regarding The Enneagram via 9types.com.

You can attempt the test here: *click*
I am not sure how established, accurate, valid or reliable is the test, I just stumbled upon it, then went Google'd it and did it only :P Just sharing it because it's interesting hehe :)

Putting yourself in someone else's shoes, in other words, to be empathetic towards that someone else.

This is never an easy task, why?

You see, taking it literally, it is not easy to have matching feet size; and even if you do have a matching feet size, the construction of the shoes might not suit you (e.g. narrow shoe toe, not enough arch support).
Meaning to say that, when you put yourself in someone else's shoes, you won't be able to go through what the person has gone through... You know, like the chewing gum he stepped on, the uneven floor he tripped over, the slippery hallway he.. well slipped :)

In a related note, that is also why people always seem to downplay other people's problems; because it is just so difficult to understand other people's problems! Me losing my dog (this is random lol) is different from you losing your dog even though we both lost our dogs. To illustrate, me getting poked by a needle is different from you getting poked by the same needle with the same intensity albeit both of us were indeed poked!

So yea, kesimpulannya, don't simply wear people's shoes la, okay?! :P

p/s: this post has no whatsoever significant meaning etc. it is as random as me wanting to maintain 76.2 :)

Results = screwed below the expected/acceptable norm for me

Thesis = screwed'ing *screams*

Life = still goes on

明天会更好.. 若到了最好的那天后, 还会有更好的明天吗?

A friend once commented that I actually care even though I appear as though I don't care. Confusing? Read it few times to get the idea :P
I question this comment though, do I really care about people (friends, family, humans)? Cause it appears to me that I am pretty selfish most times.

I do agree with another statement she made though, that I tend to shut away from people.. This is something that I witnessed happening on myself -__- I tend not to share things with people, may it be good or bad stuff, happy or sad things.

I also have the tendency to 'open up' at the wrong times which in turn, leads to me 'shutting away' more. Having said that, life still goes on.. So yea.

What are all these craps about? Just for the heck of it, since I don't wanna abandon this virtual space just yet :)

I am fragile. Very fragile.

I suck. Just didn't know I suck THAT much.